


Hospitalized

by bunnysworld



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnysworld/pseuds/bunnysworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of being on stage for the final performances of The Tempest, Colin is so sick that he has to stay at the hospital. He feels lost and alone until an unexpected visitor shows up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hospitalized

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to rocknvaughn for the beta!
> 
> Even though this story is based on events that happened, this story is just a figment of my imagination and has nothing to do with the real people.
> 
> This was written for the Merlin RPF fest on September 22nd over on LJ.

Colin stared at the ceiling and sighed. He knew it was his own fault. His own stubbornness had landed him in this hospital bed. Even though he had felt like crap, he wanted to be at the Globe for the show that was taped. He had an obligation to fulfill and he’d be damned if he didn’t fill it. And so he had put on his Ariel costume for what would be the last time – of course, he didn’t realize that back then – and had been the best Ariel he could be under the circumstances. 

Afterwards, he’d felt so ill that he hadn’t even been able to take the Tube back home and had invested in a taxi instead – which was something he usually only did when the trains had stopped running or if he was too drunk to find the right one back. He’d dragged himself through the next couple of days, hoping he would improve enough to perform in the final show on Sunday night, but it was not to be. Instead, his condition got steadily worse and, after a phone call with his mom (in which she had alternated between yelling at him for his lack of self-preservation skills and worrying for his well-being), he’d taken a taxi to the hospital. 

When Colin told the doctor that he wanted to be back on stage on Sunday, the doctor had actually laughed at him and the nurse shook her head pityingly as she inserted an IV in his arm. 

Even though he could just relax, the worry of taking care of himself taken from him, he had a hard time letting go. When he wasn’t busy just concentrating on his breathing – which fucking hurt – or trying to croak out words – which was strictly forbidden, they’d even brought him paper and a pen – he felt guilty. He’d let the whole cast down by not being able to perform. Of course, he texted Matt a good luck and Jessie a ‘sorry that I can’t be there’ and they all answered that he should rest and get well as soon as possible, but that wasn’t the same. He had planned to party with them after the show to see The Tempest off in style. 

And then there were the fans. He knew he’d let them all down by not performing. And poor Matt was horrified that they would take it out on him that he, instead of the stupid Irish bloke who’d gotten sick, was on stage performing for them. Oh well, Colin thought, most of his fans seemed nice, so he hoped that they were at least polite to Matt and would honor the effort. 

Fuck, his chest hurt and he was sweating like crazy. And having a needle in your arm wasn’t exactly the nicest thing either. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about it.

The next time Colin woke up, he’d discovered that a young nurse put an additional blanket on him, since he was shivering so hard from the fever. He’d smiled gratefully at her as he slowly warmed up and drifted off again. 

Every once in a while, a violent cough woke him up and he only noticed that the times of day had changed, but—since there was no clock in his room and he’d left his watch at home—he couldn’t tell how much time had passed. 

Colin knew it was ridiculous to hope that someone showed up to see him. His mom was in Armagh and she and Dad had jobs to go to. They couldn’t just hop a plane to London because he’d been stupid. 

And all his Merlin friends were…somewhere. Katie was busy with her career and was off filming; he knew that. But it still put a smile on his face that each time he woke up, he had a new message from her on his mobile. Angel had a new project she was working on, Alex was involved in his Edinburgh project, Eoin was in America doing his new doctor show, Rupert was busy with family stuff, and Tom was…doing whatever he did when he wasn’t at the gym, probably something with his pirate show, arrrr!

And Bradley…Colin tried to swallow, but even that hurt like hell. He had no clue where Bradley actually was. He had been so happy when his friend finally made it back from America just in time for the opening night of The Tempest. As if it hadn’t been exciting enough to be on stage with this production for the very first time, Colin knew that Bradley’s eyes followed his every move. He never wanted to admit it, but he’d missed him so much during all those months that Bradley tried to get a foot into the door in Hollywood. And now he was back and it was the most glorious opening night ever. 

They had talked a lot and spent quite some time together and Colin had the best time in ages. But then Bradley had gone back to the States. 

Maybe that had been the reason why Colin hadn’t really taken good care of himself for a while. Wet hair and stage door appearances at 3:30 in the morning didn’t really mix. He hadn’t cared. 

And now he was staring at the ceiling and feeling sick and forgotten by the world. Oh, well, probably not by the world, but by everyone he knew. Richard had sent a message, so he was not forgotten, Colin knew that and he appreciated that Richard hadn’t called. His voice was still gone and the doctors had shown him what could happen if he tried to talk too early. As an actor, he couldn’t afford to ruin his voice. 

Eoin sent silly photos from Arizona at weird times of the day. That, at least, made him smile once in a while. And Matt had texted him detailed reports of how welcoming the fans had been to him. The grin on Colin’s face had turned into another coughing fit at the detailed description of Matt doing the mob scene at stage door. Those fans were crazy. It was nice that they followed him to whatever project he was working on and yes, it could get exhausting that they always wanted a piece of him, but most of them respected his aversion to photos with them and a lot of them had grown up in the past years, so the chance of someone fainting on him again were slim. And it was nice to read that they had supported Matt all the way through the play and given him extra applause. 

The better Colin got, the more bored he became. He’d listened to the music on his player so often that it was almost better to not have music on and since the internet connection in the hospital was crappy, he became annoyed with his iPad. But it was better to type on that than having to write with pen and paper. And once in a while, when he wasn’t sleeping, he got lost in the gossip on the web. 

Of course, he couldn’t stay away from looking at what Bradley was doing, which obviously was advertising Georgia’s kickstarter project. Nice. Even though the singing was not. For a moment, he pondered sending Bradley a text, blaming him for the ringing in his ears, but then he remembered that once again, Bradley had left him. Left, he had left. For America. To do…whatever. Without an explanation, he’d just texted him from the airport that he would be gone for a while.

So he didn’t deserve a text. None whatsoever. He couldn’t just run out on him without being punished with silence. 

If that was so, why did is heart ache just thinking about the blue eyes and the blond hair? And the grin that went with it or the full-body laugh over some stupid joke. 

Damn, he missed Bradley. He’d never admit that out loud. Which he couldn’t anyway, his chest still hurt, he coughed a lot, which hurt even more and his voice was still nowhere to be found. 

Just as another coughing fit shook him, the door to his room opened. Colin expected to see a nurse rushing in, checking on him or changing his IV or doing some other nurse-y thing.

But there he stood, in all his blond glory. The man Colin had been spending too many thoughts on lately. The bloke who had been like a brother a few years ago, which had turned from being brothers to something else they never had a name for and they never acted on. The guy who had then decided to just leave for half a year. 

“Hey. Is it okay to come in?”

Colin just stared and then nodded slowly before another coughing fit took over. 

Bradley was next to his bed in an instant. “What can I do?”

Even though he was still busy trying to get his breath back, Colin heard the concern in Bradley’s voice, but he shook his head. He never liked being held or having his back rubbed when he was coughing, not even as a kid. He literally needed room to breathe. 

When he slumped back into his pillow, he gestured to the chair and Bradley pulled it over and sat down. 

“So, yeah, I’m back.” An insecure smile showed on Bradley’s face. 

Colin gestured for his iPad and when Bradley handed it to him he typed. _Why?_

For long moments, Bradley said nothing. He got up again and took the two steps to the window. His back towards Colin, his hands buried in the depth of the pockets of his jeans, he said, “You.”

Him? Bradley was back because of him? Colin stared and then coughed, which made Bradley turn again.

“How are you? Is it any better? When will they let you out of here?”

 _You’re back…because of me?_ He turned the iPad, so Bradley could read what he’d typed.

Gently boxing Colin’s upper arm, Bradley shrugged and tried a grin. “Not _because_ of you…for you.”

_What’s the difference?_

Rolling his eyes, Bradley leaned back in his chair and let out a sound between a giggle and a nervous sigh. “I…you know when the news exploded that you weren’t in the last show…and trust your fans not to spread that you were hospitalized…I…,” he turned back and looked at Colin, “this might sound like one of our lines, but…I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”

After a moment of just staring at Bradley, Colin used the iPad again. _You could just have sent a card?_

“I deserve that, don’t I?” Bradley sighed. 

Colin didn’t know if his chest was hurting because of the stupid illness or because his heart was heavy. What was Bradley trying to tell him? Did he…

_Why did you leave again?_

Bradley reached for the iPad and kept his eyes fixed on the screen. “I…we were picking up where we left off after the end of the show, didn’t we? I…I don’t know what it is. I still don’t know. But,” he looked up, “we’ve got something special, Colin, don’t we?”

Worrying his chapped lower lip with his teeth, Colin nodded slowly. Yes, they had. They never had felt the need to categorize it, to figure out what it really was, but it was there. 

“I was scared to take it to the next level.” Bradley looked around the room.

For a moment, Colin just watched him. Scared? _And now?_ His hands trembled when he tried to type those two simple words. He nudged Bradley’s arm with the iPad, not daring to touch him. 

“And now? I don’t know. I can’t give you a fixed answer to that. I don’t know what it is and how we should make it work. But when I heard that you are here and how bad off you were…” Bradley looked up from the iPad again, “I just knew I needed to be with you.”

 _As a friend?_ Colin wasn’t sure why he was asking this. He could still claim that he was under the influence of drugs if this went downhill. 

“I don’t know as what. But,” Bradley took Colin’s hand and gently stroked the pad of his thumb across the back, “definitely _more_ than a friend, if that’s okay for you…” He swallowed hard and then looked up again. 

Colin looked at him for a long while and then the first genuine smile he’d smiled in days crept onto his face.

There's [No promises](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1089175) now, which could be read as a sequel.


End file.
